Individual Details

Biography on Helen's website (helentrigar.com) by son Chris:

Introduction: Warm, generous and fiercely independent, Helen brought compassion, humour and unwavering loyalty to the family, friends and communities she loved. She enjoyed travelling, a good glass of wine, and was an exceptional cook who loved sharing delicious food. A Celebration of Life will be held in Jan 2026, with details to follow.

Biography:
Helen Mary Trigar was born on 11 June 1950 at the Brisbane Women’s Hospital in Herston, Brisbane, Queensland. She was the daughter of Douglas Gordon Trigar and Gilda Margarita Maria Benvenuti, and grew up within a family shaped by strong Queensland roots and a rich, multicultural heritage. Her maternal grandfather, Leo Benvenuti, was an accomplished violinist who performed with the Queensland Symphony Orchestra, and this musical tradition formed part of the cultural fabric of her early life.

Helen spent her early childhood in Brisbane, growing up with her younger brother, Lindsay, and developing from an early age a strong sense of care and responsibility for those close to her. She began school in the western suburbs, attending Graceville State School and later Sherwood State School, before completing her secondary education at Our Lady of the Sacred Heart College in Corinda, Queensland. It was during her time there that Helen first read her favourite poem, Ulysses by Alfred, Lord Tennyson, whose themes of purpose, resilience, and refusing to waste one’s life resonated deeply with her and remained with her throughout her life.

In 1971, at the age of 20, Helen married David Craig Tomkins at St John’s Anglican Cathedral in Brisbane. They had one son together, Christopher Leo Tomkins, born in 1972. For a time, Helen, David and Chris lived near family in the suburb of Oxley in Brisbane, enjoying the Queensland sunshine, an abundance of mangoes, and the closeness of family life.

Like many women of her generation, Helen lived through a time when living openly was not always possible, and later found the freedom to live authentically when she formed a lifelong partnership with Julie O’Brien in the mid 1970s.

In 1977, Helen and Julie moved to Melbourne, first settling in Newport before later relocating to Clayton South to be closer to extended family and to build a strong family life there. In 1984, Helen and Julie welcomed their second son, Robert Francis O’Brien, into their family.

In the mid 1980s, Helen, Julie, Chris and Rob moved to Mount Waverley, Victoria. Helen later pursued tertiary study at nearby Monash University, completing a Bachelor of Social Work in 1993. This qualification reflected her deep commitment to social justice, community welfare, and a generous, practical care for others.

In later years, Helen and Julie made their home in several regional Victorian communities. In 2007, they moved to a cattle farm in Mirboo North, where they shared their lives with their dogs, a cat, an orchard, and many much-loved cows over the following eight years.

In 2015, they relocated to Portarlington on the Bellarine Peninsula. Helen continued working as a Child Protection Worker for some time, while also establishing their bed and breakfast, The Rose of Tralee. Together, Helen and Julie achieved Superhost status on Airbnb and were known for their warmth, generosity, and hospitality, reflected in almost exclusively five star glowing reviews and many returning guests.

Across every place she lived, from Brisbane to Melbourne, Gippsland and Portarlington, Helen formed deep and lasting friendships. She had a gift for staying connected, welcoming people in, and building communities wherever she found herself.

Helen’s life spanned multiple states, educational institutions, and communities. She is remembered as someone deeply committed to caring for others, generous in spirit and action, grounded in fairness and resilience, and devoted to her family. Her legacy lives on through the people whose lives she touched and the communities she helped shape.

• 

Birth	11 Jun 1950	Brisbane Womens Hospital, Herston, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
Event-Misc	16 May 1952	On holiday - Collinswood, Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Education	1956	Graceville State School, Graceville, Queensland, Australia
Education	1958	Sherwood State School, Sherwood, Queensland, Australia
Education	1963 - 1966	Our Lady of the Sacred Heart College, Corinda, Queensland, Australia
Marriage	16 Jan 1971	St John's Anglican Cathedral, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia - Living
Residence	Abt 1977	Newport, Victoria, Australia
Residence	1980	Electoral Roll - 3 Hayden Road, Clayton South, Victoria, Australia
Divorce	19 Nov 1984	Family Court of Australia, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia - Living
Residence	Abt 1986	Mt Waverley, Victoria, Australia
Education	19 May 1993	Batchelor of Social Work - Monash University, Clayton, Victoria, Australia
Residence	2006 - 2017	Delburn, Victoria, Australia
Residence	2018	Portarlington, Victoria, Australia
Death	25 Nov 2025	Geelong University Hospital, Geelong, , Victoria, Australia
Cremation	9 Dec 2025	Geelong, Victoria, Australia

Spouse	Living
Child	Living
Child	Living

Spouse

Living

Father	Douglas Gordon "Doug" TRIGAR (1923 - 2011)
Mother	Gilda Margarita Maria BENVENUTI (1925 - 2007)
Sibling	Jennifer Barbara TRIGAR (1954 - 1955)
Sibling	Living
Sibling	Living

Notes