Individual Details

Kaleb James FURR

(20 May 2002 - 10 Dec 2003)

Flu likely cause of child's death

By Beth Snead Feeback
Independent Tribune
Thursday, December 11, 2003

The death of a 19 month-old Stanly County boy is being investigated to determine whether it was brought about by the flu.

A representative of the Mecklenburg County Medical Examiner’s office confirmed Thursday that an autopsy was being performed on the child’s body, but he said no further information could be released until the investigation is complete.

If the death is confirmed a flu death, it will be the second documented in the state this flu season.

About 15 children die of the flu in North Carolina each year, said Debbie Crane of the N.C. Department of Health and Human Services.

This year those cases are more prominent because of the early onset of the flu season and the flu deaths in Denver that captured national media attention, she said.

Only one child in North Carolina has died from a confirmed case of the flu this year, a six-year-old Montgomery County boy who died Saturday, said Crane.

Flu and its complications are the sixth leading cause of death nationally among children 4 years old and younger, said State Health Director Dr. Leah Devlin.

Immunization is key to preventing flu, she said.

“This flu season we have immunized more than five times the number of children than we have in past seasons,” said Devlin. “Last year we immunized 29,000 North Carolina children. This year we have immunized 153,000. The local health departments, private providers and the public have responded well to our calls for immunization.”

Devlin said high-risk individuals should seek flu shots. That includes children 6 months to 23 months of age, adults over 65, all people with chronic conditions, and pregnant women in their second and third trimesters.

Son's death in the words of his mother

Here are excerpts from an essay Julie Furr wrote after the death of her son. It's titled, "Heaven's Gain: Kaleb James Furr, Our Miracle."

The day we found out that we were having a son, my husband and I were filled with joy. When Kaleb was born, J.P. gained a fishing buddy, a sports companion, a helper around the house and someone who thought of him as his hero. Igained a beautiful, blue-eyed angel who was mild-mannered, filled with kindness and love for all people and all things around him. What could be better?

... A perfect life, changed in a matter of minutes. ...

You know, when I asked for a miracle, I knew what miracle I wanted. I wanted my baby to go home, healthy and safe. Only my "home" and God's "home" are two different places, and Kaleb deserves the latter of the two. For he was an angel in training while he was here with us. He taught me more about life and love than anyone could ever imagine, and now he is Our Little Angel in Heaven, watching over us all.

Kaleb, J.P. and I, as well as our new baby on the way, have been comforted by the presence of family, friends and the countless number of prayers that were said and sent from all over the state and country. ...

Our miracle was having a final day with our son, having time to express to him just how much we love him now and always (even though he knew), and having a chance to hold him once more. A miracle that would have never happened without the knowledge, care and, most of all, the love from the hands that pulled together in delivering our child to God in the manner it was intended. ...

As Christmas quickly draws near, we try to remember, "It matters not how long a star shines; what we remember is the brightness of the light." Please help us continue to spread Kaleb's light ...

-- Julie Furr



Heaven gains an angel

New London family coping with tragedy of life taken by flu-like infection

By Elizabeth G. Cook, Salisbury Post

NEW LONDON -- "What a perfect life looks like," says a poster in J.P. and Julie Furr's den.

Photos of their son, Kaleb, surround the words -- a newborn in his mother's arms, a baby smiling from a little tub, a toddler proudly wearing a fireman's hat just like his Pop Pop, Robert Isenhour. The boy's blue eyes beamed.

Kaleb is gone now, struck down by a sudden infection a little more than a week ago, Dec. 10. The poster was displayed at the 18-month-old's funeral last Saturday.

Eighteen months old.

The shock and heartbreak are unfathomable. Still, the Furrs have found comfort in certain facts.

"Not many people can live a life that's nothing but happiness," J.P. says, leaning on the door frame outside Kaleb's bedroom, Julie by his side. "He did."

Now they want to pass some of Kaleb's happiness on to other children. The idea came to Julie that first sleepless night after Kaleb died at Carolinas Medical Center. She and J.P. were staying in a hotel, unable to think of returning to the home that so recently had been full of Kaleb's laughter.

They decided to ask friends and family to honor Kaleb's memory at the funeral by bringing a toy that they could pass on to some child whose life was not so perfect.

"Even though it's going to be a sad Christmas for us," Julie says softly, "we wanted to make it special for other people."

So now, hundreds of new toys sit in Kaleb's room, from Tigger puppets to skateboards, something for all ages. Some 70 stuffed animals cover his bed.

Around the room are piled dolls, trucks, tractors -- some of them painfully reminiscent of Kaleb's favorites.

But Julie and J.P. push down those feelings and marvel instead at the generosity before them. They stopped counting the toys when they reached 182 two days ago. Now there must be nearly 400.

Four hundred symbols of the love people had for this little boy and his parents. Four hundred touches that his short life might make on someone else's.

nnn

Pfeiffer Chapel is where it all started, Julie says. That's where she and J.P. were married in 2000. They had grown up just a few miles from each other in Stanly County but attended different high schools and colleges --Appalachian State for her and UNC Charlotte for him.

Then J.P.'s brother, Michael, introduced them.

They married three years ago and now, both 26, they work together, teaching exceptional children at North Stanly High School. Their parents, the Isenhours and Reed and Patti Furr, live near them.

And each day, Julie says, she and J.P. couldn't wait to get home and be with Kaleb.

nnn

When Julie took Kaleb to the pediatrician for his second flu shot, the clinic had run out. A nurse was reassuring; even without the second shot, Kaleb had received more vaccine than many children.

But flu-like symptoms came -- fever, mostly -- and the Furrs searched all over until they finally found the Tamiflu his pediatrician, Dr. Linda Lawrence, prescribed. So many people had come down with the flu that pharmacies were running out.

Instead of going to day care the next day, Tuesday, Kaleb stayed with Julie's mother, Louise Isenhour. The fever persisted, but he played off and on throughout the day, resting now and then.

Julie took Kaleb home late that evening and laid him down for the night.

J.P. got up and checked on him several times, the last at about 4 a.m.

All seemed well.

About an hour later, Julie awoke and a horrible feeling fell over her. She went to check on her son.

"He was still in the position that I had laid him," she said, "warm to the touch but not breathing."

The nightmare had begun.

As Julie later wrote, "A perfect life, changed in a matter of minutes."

nnn

The language of emergencies is abbreviated and blunt, like the tragedies that unfold: 911. CPR. EMS. ER.

The doctors and staff at Stanly Memorial got Kaleb's heart beating again, but he could not breathe on his own. As Julie rode beside him in the emergency flight to Carolinas Medical Center, she prayed for a miracle.

She wanted Kaleb to get better and go back to their tidy home on Pine Acres Road -- where Kaleb's Tazmanian devil hat hung on a peg, and ball caps and baseballs decorated his room. The little doggy-shaped chair he sat in to watch "Blues Clues" was waiting for him in the den. His favorite riding toy, a tractor, was sitting at the ready nearby.

If only he could go back there, healthy and safe.

But that's not the kind of miracle Julie and J.P. received. What they got was to be able to spend that day with Kaleb, to hold him and talk to him -- "to love on him," Julie says.

They found out later that Kaleb had contracted a viral infection and a bacterial infection called Haemophilus influenzae. Improperly named long ago, the bacteria actually is not the flu.

Most children, including Kaleb, are immunized against the bacteria when they receive their Hib vaccine. He had not developed that immunity, or the viral infection had weakened it.

And he did not show what Julie and J.P. have been told are the usual symptoms of the bacterial infection, shortness of breath and gasping for air.

But he did stop breathing as the bacteria overtook his windpipe.

His eyes remained closed as air was pushed into his lungs, but Julie says he seemed to respond. "He knew we were there," she says. "His little heartbeat would go up."

But the damage was done, and finally his body gave out.

nnn

Since Kaleb's story started at the Pfeiffer Chapel with his parents' wedding, they decided to hold his funeral there, too.

One of Julie's brothers, John Isenhour, went to Elkin and picked out a tree to put in the chapel. Friends and family brought ornaments to decorate the tree, and they piled toys under it.

Julie's sister, Wendy Hefner, shared a poem: "If there is a spark of hope in this time of darkness," it said in part, "it is that Kaleb shared his smiling face with everyone he met -- and that we could hear a hundred happy angels when he laughed."

The rush of love and support from family and friends -- plus their own inner strength, and the strength they draw from each other -- all came together for Julie and J.P.

The toys have continued to come, and the family hopes to gather more this weekend. The Richfield Fire Department, where her brother David is chief, will accept new, unwrapped toys today between 1 and 4 p.m., and again Monday, from 7 to 9 p.m.

J.P. and Julie have arranged to give away the toys through Helping Hands ministry in Albemarle, and they plan to adopt a family through the Hunger Coalition in Boone. Some toys may be set aside to share through the Red Cross with families who lose their homes in fires. They have also talked to the social worker at North Stanly High School about filling other needs.

Some people have given money to the Kaleb Furr Memorial Fund. The Furrs have used some of that to buy toys for older children, a group not covered well by the donated toys. Since Kaleb was a big baseball fan, they want to use the rest of the money to support a Miracle League baseball team for disabled children, if they have enough.

There's much to do.

"If we were to just crawl in a hole ...," Julie says.

"...which we could easily do," J.P. adds.

That would help no one, they conclude together. And it would do a disservice to Kaleb's memory.

"We want to honor him," Julie says.

"He would always share," J.P. adds. So it seems only fitting.

nnn

It reminds J.P. of the movie, "Pay It Forward," in which a boy convinces those around him to respond to favors they receive by doing favors for someone else. He and Julie are paying forward for Kaleb, and they hope they can help other children.

"I guess our whole thing is, watch your kids and appreciate every minute," Julie says.

"Enjoy them," J.P. says.

"Love them," she concludes. "Just love them, because you never know how long you'll have them."

Julie and J.P. are expecting a second child in April, a boy they will name Hayden. As he grows up, no doubt Hayden will hear a lot about this older brother and the happiness he brought to those around him.

Julie and J.P. have the perfect quote to help him understand.

"It matters not how long a star shines. What we remember is the brightness of the light."

And they will never forget.

The Furrs can be contacted at 42824 Pine Acres Road, New London, NC 28127. The toy drive is today from 1-4 p.m. and Monday from 7-9 p.m. at Richfield Fire Department.

Contact Elizabeth G. Cook at 704-797-4244 or editor@ salisburypost.com.

Events

Birth20 May 2002Albemarle, Stanly County, NC
Death10 Dec 2003New London, Stanly County, NC
BurialNew Bethel Lutheran Church Cemetery, Richfield, Stanly County, NC
Soc Sec No243-99-5255

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